Shadows from a Lingering Sun
by Meshalana
Summary: Between Tokyo Babylon and X: A short insight into Seishirou and Subaru’s relationship.
1. Shadows from a Lingering Sun 1 of 2

Title: Shadows from a Lingering Sun

Autor: Mesha (mesha@gmx.net)

Fandom: Tokyo Babylon / X

Pairing: Seishirou x Subaru

Warnings: lemon, BDSM, asphyxiation

Spoilers for Tokyo Babylon

Disclaimer: Seishirou, Subaru and their universe belong to CLAMP, I'm just borrowing them for this fic (Seishirou made me do it! ^^;).

Summary: Between Tokyo Babylon and X: A short insight into Seishirou and Subaru's relationship.

Thanks to my beta-readers Brandy, Sarah and Rachael for their helpful suggestions. ^_^

  


Shadows from a lingering sun  
_Osoki hi no_  
blur into dusk...   
_kage mo haya nashi_  
falling cherry petals.   
_chiru sakura_  
(Soko)  
  


****

Shadows from a Lingering Sun

"Do you really think that it is so easy, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked coldly. "That I will just kill you and get it over with, end it all for you?"

Subaru looked up, his green eyes empty with too much pain and loneliness and desperation. He didn't say a word, although his breathing increased a little, the fast heartbeat thudding against the narrow chest where the life was just barely hidden under that thin layer of skin.

Yes, Seishirou thought, Subaru so obviously wanted it – and of course, why shouldn't he want it? In all the years that had passed, no matter where he had been, what work he had done, there had always been the presence of the young Sumeragi at the back of his mind, the hurt young boy on his quest for revenge and for answers.

"A foolish thing to do," he mused, "but then, that's what makes you human, isn't it? Doing foolish things, always bringing yourself nearer to destruction and yet all the way denying it... but doesn't that also mean being a coward? You want death, and yet when you have reached your goal, you so desperately try to fight against your destiny. Foolish, Subaru-kun, very foolish."

"No, that's-"

"Ah, shh, don't lie to me!" Subaru flinched as one of Seishirou's long fingers caressed his lips in a twisted caricature of a lover's gentle touch. Seishirou allowed himself a fleeting, satisfied smile – purely for the benefit of the exhausted boy, of course, but then, you had to make certain concessions when dealing with humans. But not very much longer... no, indeed, not much longer now.

"I know you, Subaru-kun, so intimately as if I had indeed been your lover – and for all that trust you put into me, I could just as well have been. Isn't it so? One word from me and I could have had you naked on your stomach in seconds," – and here Subaru flinched and blinked desperately to keep the telltale wetness in his eyes from rolling down his cheeks, – "but you were such a naive little boy it probably would have bored me to death. Ah, you – really – are – disgustingly pathetic, Subaru-kun," he breathed and found a positively unreasonable pleasure in the way the boy's eyes closed in absolute pain. He let some seconds pass, studying the thin face, the tracks of wetness and the bitten, bleeding lips with the cruel curiosity only a scientist could feel towards his object of research.

And yes, after all, the boy hadn't changed much. Seishirou refused to see him as a man, because despite the years that had passed, the changed appearance, the thin, long legs, the shorter hair, despite the cigarettes which dangled so provokingly from the boy's fingers at every meeting like an unspoken challenge, despite his aptitude at onmyoujitsu, his daily hard work of battling the souls of the bitter and hateful...

Despite all this, Subaru was still a young boy hiding beneath a thin, ever-crumbling wall of self-hate and desperation. He could see it in his eyes, they still hadn't changed. Of course, they were no longer those deep, vast pools of green which filled so readily with unconditional love whenever they saw him, but still...

They showed everything.

Hate, desperation, pain, never-ending suffering and still, still, still after all he had done to show him, to rip the naïveté from the boy, still... foolish, foolish hope.

Shining through the tears of pain, showing in that tiny flinch every time Seishirou hurt him anew, this ubiquitous hope was something that... _irked_ Seishirou. Like an itch, every time he looked at him. 

He wanted to – Rip it out of him. Destroy it. Utterly. 

__

Completely.

It was something that should have happened at the end of that year, something Subaru should have lost along with his sister, but apparently it was far more resistant, battling against him, battling against the outcome of that bet which had already been decided the day he made it...

And yet. 

There it was, still, in wet green eyes, the trembling of a hand which did not dare to reach for him, the soft, rasping sound of air leaving Subaru's throat in a groan which should have been his name, Seishirou could hear it, see it, feel it, and it...

No. It did not anger him, simply because the Sakurazukamori did not feel anger.

But it disturbed him (only a small disturbance, of course, but nevertheless a tiny imperfection in the outcome of his plan), and that was something which he just couldn't allow. Not if he wanted to fulfill his wish, and the wish of the young Sumeragi as well.

Still, there was time left until it would come to that. Days, weeks even if fate should decide to grant the slowly dying planet a last respite. Time enough for the Sakurazukamori to perhaps finish what he had set out to do at the end of that year.

"Such a precious doll," he said softly. Two fingers stroked down a soft cheek, down a slender throat, stopping to cherish the fluttering pulse speeding up against his fingers. Hot, hot blood, and wouldn't it be sweet to let it out of its prison, watch it stain the ivory skin, redden the soft lips, yes, exactly, suck the breath out of his lungs in a last kiss until the boy was still, lifeless and more perfect than any dollmaker could ever hope to create.

Subaru gasped beneath him, that red, tempting mouth opening to curse, perhaps, or to plead for mercy or death or nothing at all, and Seishirou didn't care and sealed it off with his own mouth and tongue and none of the mock-gentleness, because wasn't that why Subaru kept waiting for him here in the first place, to get rid of lies and masks and pretences?

No mask, then, no smiles and caresses for him. Instead he got the killer, the Seishirou who smiled as the coldly burning thrill of conquering mingled with freed hot blood under his nails as he marked his prey anew with marks without power and yet more binding than any spell he had ever studied.

And Subaru cried, cried and cried the way he hadn't been able to the day his sister died and never since, cried the way only Seishirou could make him cry, with silent sobs and silvery wetness on his cheeks in the darkness and red lines of pain on his chest and his thighs, and oh, how it pleased Seishirou, made him purr with contentment like the cat who had just let the mouse free to watch it run in pain and fear...

And wasn't hope all the sweeter when you knew just the exact moment in which it would be crushed?


	2. Shadows from a Lingering Sun 2 of 2

bShadows from a Lingering Sun/bbr  
2/2  
brp  
PIt was a thing of beauty, this pale doll with its huge green eyes and too thin legs, even more so than it had been when it was still young and pure and trusting, because now, now there was so much Imore/I, hate and love and pain and lust and despair and hurt, hurt, so much hurt that it spilled out of his eyes, tainted his lips, scented his blood and flesh and sweat and no, this was no longer sweet, this was raw and sharp and thin, metallic like the tang of blood on his lips and the soft hiss of pain in his ears and yes, so much better than any death because this thing was Ihis/I, its blood and pain and heat and lust belonged to him and always would, always.../P  
PHe groaned and bit hard into a shoulder, heard a soft, pained moan and felt the expected hardness pressing into his thigh. With a chuckle he brushed his lips against Subaru's mouth, licked at the blood. "Does your Grandmother know of this, Subaru-kun?" he asked gently, "does she know how you always come back to let me fuck you, how you beg and beg for me to hurt you? Does she know how you beg the murderer of your sister to fuck you?"/P  
PSubaru closed his eyes and let his head fall to the side, still crying but no longer silently, now he was making soft sounds of pain and anguish and humiliation and please, Iplease/I while his legs spread around Seishirou's body./P  
PWhite skin, white like innocence if it weren't for the little trails of red his fingers had left there. More marks, marring the skin, and this was perfection because this was Iboth/I, white and red and pleasure and pain and love and hate, life and death mingling, fusing into something that was both and Imore/I, and it's call was far more tempting than the sakura's had ever been./P  
PAnd why should he resist what had always been his?/P  
POne hand closed over Subaru's throat, and as expected the head fell further back, baring more of the soft white skin stretched so thin over flesh and breath and life. Sometimes, this aroused the Sakurazukamori more than possessing Subaru's body, because this was possessing his life, his soul... In those moments, everything was clear between them, everything was spelled out in gasps and touches and in the acknowledgement which Subaru's submission really meant./P  
PThis wasn't about lust, no, had never been. The lust was about accepting, about finding a balance in their roles, the balance in the windless eye surrounded by the storm. It was by no means a stalemate or a truce – Seishirou liked to think of it as the moment before the kill, the mouse hypnotised by the snake and the snake waiting those precious milliseconds to cherish the knowledge in the mouse's eyes./P  
PBut the Sakurazukamori wasn't a snake, and so he stretched the time, stretched it to days, weeks, years even, and not once did the pleasure of seeing the submission in Subaru's eyes waver./P  
PHe kept his hand on the slender throat, one finger caressing the pulse in an affectionate threat while his other hand moved to Subaru's lips, felt them part willingly as he slipped two fingers inside. A tongue wrapped around them, meekly suckling even when Seishirou's hand tightened around his throat./P  
P"You're so good at this, Subaru-kun," he said with a soft laugh as he drew his fingers out. They were slick with saliva and glistened in the sparse light that fell in through a small window, and Seishirou traced Subaru's lips with them, painting them with saliva and blood only to lean down to lap at them while he pushed those fingers hard into Subaru's body. He noticed the familiar way the body tightened around him, noticed and filed away the trembling, the gasp and the Ipainconfusionhatelust/I as he had noticed and filed away every single emotion, every reaction he had ever produced in the Sumeragi. Complete and most intimate knowledge of the boy, of the youth and the not-quite-man, researched and gathered through a lifetime, and once again it didn't fail him as he felt the expected flare of lust when he pressed himself inside./P  
PSex was something human. Sex was something that the body needed, and for the Sakurazukamori it made no difference whether he reached release through his own hands or a paid body./P  
PBut for the Sumeragi it mattered. Not that he had ever tried to buy a prostitute for his needs, but there had been countless nights in which Seishirou had watched the thin body move restlessly under the covers, waiting and waiting for the much-needed sleep which still eluded him until his hands would reach down between his legs with a tired sigh to bring himself to an unsatisfying climax./P  
PPathetic./P  
PSeishirou would watch and wait, and wait another week or month before he would show up in the dark room, and by then Subaru's hate of himself would have grown so much that he'd embrace the pain and the passion the Sakurazukamori brought, would accept it as the constant it was, the one unchangeable fact of their life. That he belonged to the assassin. And that he Ineeded/I him./P  
P"Do you hate me, Subaru-kun?" he asked with a smile while he pushed hard into the thin body. A whimper answered him and he slipped one arm under Subaru's hips, lifted him up and pushed again, deep, deeper, hurting tender flesh that yet had never known any other form of sex. Never any pretences of gentleness, never any preparations, not even that first night./P  
PActually, that first night he had been rougher than ever after. But he had been... Iangry/I, yes, and had let his body follow his emotions, watched and filed them away with the same interest with which he had studied Subaru's emotions for years. It had been the anger which had made him grab the too-pale boy, push him down onto the narrow bed and take him so hard that there had been blood afterwards. Not the way you should fuck a virgin./P  
PBut seeing the clinically white sheets stained with blood and come had left him Isatisfied/I after./P  
PContent, even... /P  
PYes, he mused, he had never felt as satisfied as those minutes he had spent on top of the boy, thin wrists in his hands, licking along the red, stitched lines which tasted of antiseptics and blood while he could still smell himself on and in Subaru./P  
PAnd Subaru had sighed. He had closed his eyes, his wrists hanging limply in Seishirou's grasp and gone to sleep./P  
PPerhaps he thought that he wouldn't wake again, or perhaps he still hoped that all this violence was really just affection and that Seishirou loved him after all – but he went to sleep, and after some minutes, Seishirou stood up and cleaned himself and went, and Subaru didn't see him again until some months later./P  
PThe lines on Subaru's wrists had faded to white by then, but the sex stayed the same, the pain and the pleasure Seishirou forced onto Subaru's body until the boy had to surrender and Ilet go/I and the strange feeling of satisfaction Seishirou couldn't shake./P  
PAnd it was then he knew that he had found him after all./P  
PWhat he had missed in the innocent boy who was so eager to love, to trust and what he could now see in the tired and bitter young man... IPromise/I. Not easy to see, buried under guilt and self-recriminations most of the time, but right now when his shields were ripped from him by force, Subaru showed promise, and it was something the Sakurazukamori had long ago ceased to expect./P  
PThat he could see it now made the boy's pain all the sweeter./P  
PAnd of course he had to come back after that realisation. There was no way he could let Subaru inflict more suffering on himself... Subaru was Ihis/I, and if he hurt, it was because Ihe/I had decided so./P  
PThat way, their encounters quickly became more frequent. This was as close to dying as Subaru could allow himself to get, and Seishirou was only toi happy to provide for his needs – especially since it brought himself closer to his wish./P  
POne day, the hope in Subaru's eyes would be gone. And until then.../P  
PSeishirou groaned, the only sound he had allowed himself so far. He gripped Subaru's hips with one hand to hold him still while he tried to push even Ideeper/I, listened to the sounds Subaru made, sounds which were sweetly breathless and pained and begging, begging.../P  
P"So... does this mean you love me, then?" he asked, and somehow he managed to make it sound almost as if he would care. Slowly his hand made its way upwards again, caressing the arched, vulnerable throat, coaxing another desperate moan out of Subaru, and then he moved to his mouth, tracing petal-soft lips. Gentle like a lover, sweet and affectionate, and then with all the strength of the Sakurazukamori his hand moved to cover Subaru's mouth and nose, leaving him no way to breathe./P  
PThe body clenched around him Ioh!/I so tightly, hot, shaking, Subaru's eyes huge and they didn't leave his face, staring up at him in panic and desperation. No air, no way to breathe with the large hand covering his mouth and nose, and Seishirou could feel it in the way the muscles constricted around him, the way Subaru's eyes lost all focus, could smell the sour scent of fear mingling with sweat.../P  
IPPower/I./P  
PAnd if he just waited some more moments, now, it would all be over. He would have claimed his prey, finally, put a stop to the game they had been playing for far too long.../P  
PBut things were never that easy, not when you had to answer to destiny. Not now, then, no, but not very much longer either./P  
PHe bent down and pressed his mouth to Subaru's, breathed out, into him, and with a sob Subaru came hard. His body arched while he sucked in more and more of Seishirou's breath, clutching at the broad shoulders, his lifeline, his Ilife/I as he shook, sobbed, high on the ecstasy of life, and just some seconds later Seishirou followed him. A soft groan was the only indication of his pleasure, released into Subaru's mouth along with precious air and yes.../P  
PThis was beautiful, better than it could have ever been Ithen/I, because now they both knew what they were and what this meant. Yes, this Subaru, this tainted, suffering Subaru was intoxication. Torn between his emotions, between love and guilt and destiny and pain... it was exquisite. So much, Itoo/I much in his eyes, trying to hide everything and yet showing even more until Seishirou thought he would drown in them./P  
PHis. He had formed him. They'd always be connected, there was no way they could ever leave this behind.../P  
PHe had found what he had been looking for, he knew it when he heard the gasping breathing as he stood up and put his clothes back on, felt it in the absence of any kind of reaction as he bent down to push a sweaty strand of black hair back from Subaru's face./P  
P"The moment of your death, you'll lie in my arms and love me." he whispered into his ear and left./P  
POf course, that was a lie./P  
  
  
~end~ 


End file.
